• Next thing I knew it was Thursday. Nothing really happened. Zane didn’t come over to the house after school, we both didn’t talk. But it wasn’t me. It was him. Something was wrong. He seemed really distant. We have dinner with his mom on Saturday. Wow that’s going to be a trip to the park! I thought sarcastically. We don’t even hold hands that much. I haven’t even talked to Kendra or Grant. I had been to swampt with school. Algebra was kicking my a**. It had snowed more and it was two weeks till Christmas. School would be ending for the holidays in about a week. Zane and I walked out of the school both of quiet as usual. We got into the jeep and I started it up kicking my foot trying to get the snow off. I sniffed and wrapped my scarf tighter around my neck.

    “My mom said, um, that I should go pick you up and bring you to the house since the streets aren’t safe.” I looked over at him surprised at his voice. It was throaty and sounded sick but it was the first I heard all day. He looked at his hands.

    “OK, what time?” I said and drove out of the school. He shrugged and sniffed.

    “6?” I nodded. We drove to my house where Zane’s car sat covered in a thin layer of soft puffy snow. I turned off the car and turned toward Zane.

    “Zane, listen I’m sorry about Monday…it’s just I wasn’t feeling like—“

    “Its fine,” he said and looked over at me. Something stirred in his eyes and he let a small smile spread to his lips. “I’ve been….a little sick this week…is all.” He said quietly. I looked at him and searched for anything. Why was he acting this way?

    “I’m worried about you.” I whispered almost to low for anyone to hear. Zane half smiled at me. “Don’t worry about me Taylors.” I looked down at my gloved hands frowning.

    “I’m sorry if I did anything to make you mad.” I said. He laughed.

    “Isn’t that what we do? Get each other pissed off?” he lifted my chin with his finger and smiled at me. “I think it’s kind of sexy when you’re mad.” I rolled my eyes and laughed.

    “Sure,” I said. He dropped his hand from my chin and sighed.

    “I’m not sure Grant and Kendra want us back, Princess.” he said quietly looking down then looked up through his eye lashes. I bit at my lip and nodded. “When do you want to break up?” he asked trying to cover the sadness in his voice. It still leaked through. The thought of breaking up, the thought of actually not having Zane take me to school or hold my hand as we go up to the school. The thought of not being able to touch Zane or to fight with him made my heart heave in a not beating way. I couldn’t live without his soft rough hands. But why? Why did my heart want this? Why did my body yearn for him? My lungs had almost stopped too, thinking about it. I looked at him and swallowed.

    “I don’t know.” I said. He nodded.

    “Well after this weekend I guess.” he said and shrugged. He winced. I stared at him my eyes a little wide. “Gym practice.” he stated quickly. Too quickly. I nodded not believing him.

    “Um, do you want to come in?” I asked hesitantly. He bit the inside of his jaw thinking. Then frowned.

    “I can’t….I have to be home when my mom gets home…its just she isn’t….never mind.” I frowned.

    “Is something wrong with your mom?” I asked concerned. He shook his head.

    “No….she’s ok.” I nodded slowly. “I’ll call you later or something.” he said and got out. I did the same slinging my backpack over my shoulder.

    “Bye,” I said as he got into his car and drove. I’m so damn sick of this! I thought to myself as I slammed the front door shut throwing off my shoes. What the hell is going on with him?! I know we just made up and stuff but there is something that he isn’t telling me! I want to know the truth. Tomorrow I am going to force it out of him. Mom came in looking worried.

    “Olivia, are you ok?” she asked. I nodded.

    “Yeah I’m fine.” Dad came in behind her and smiled at me. I frowned at the two of them. They looked relax for some reason. “What the hell are you guys grinning at?” I muttered.

    “What your tongue.” dad warned. I put my hands up in surrender. Mom sighed.

    “Your father and I decided we want our marriage to get better so we are going on a marriage retreat on Monday then coming back next Monday.” I raised an eyebrow.

    “Well….good.” I said not sure. Mom nodded.

    “So will you be ok by yourself?” she asked. I bit my lip so hard I tasted blood in my mouth. “Yeah its fine any other time you guys leave me alone.” I said coldness seeping into my words. They didn’t notice.

    “Ok good. We’ll have enough food and I’ll leave some money so you can order pizza and stuff.” I looked away and crossed my arms. “Something wrong sweetie?” she asked. I grabbed my backpack and avoided their eyes.

    “No. I’m going to do my homework.” I went up the stairs passing their stupid faces. I went up into my room and dropped my bag to the ground realizing I had no homework today. I got out one of my books I hadn’t finished, slipped on my reading glasses and started reading. Trying to get out of my own world to another.

    It was 6 o’clock when my mom called me down for supper. I told her I wasn’t hungry. I didn’t want to eat. I didn’t want to go down stairs. I looked out the window at the dark sky and saw it was clearing off a little. But this close to the city you couldn’t see the stars. I sighed and got back to my book. My phone vibrated on my nightstand but I didn’t feel like looking. It vibrated again and I groaned and picked it up.

    “Yes?” I asked.

    “Olivia!” Zane said relief in his voice. I got worried.

    “Hey what’s wrong?” I asked. He sighed.

    “I got into a fight with my mom and her….boyfriend. I’m out driving around and I can’t go home…..could I stay with you tonight?” I was stunned. “I mean I can go someplace—“ he said after I didn’t answer.

    “No! No, no you can come over I was just thinking. Yeah my parents are home so you’ll have to sneak in my window but they are leaving early tomorrow morning for work so yeah come over.” I said quickly.

    “OK, which window is yours?” he asked. I looked out the window and saw the road.

    “It’s two windows from the front door. The porch is a wrap around so you can jump up there. There’s a stool by the side where I used to….” I trailed off. He snorted.

    “You sneaked out before?” I was quiet.

    “No comment.” he laughed. It rang like bells and I smiled. He was ok.

    “I’ll park my car down the street have your window open and the heat up I’m freezing my a** off.” I laughed.

    “Ok,” I hung up and jumped out of bed and started to pick up my clothes and pilled them on my dresser and in my dresser draws. I went to the window and opened it up only to realize I was wearing shorts and an old t shirt. I grabbed my school sweat shirt and pulled it over me. I went to my mirror and fixed what was left of my make up and nodded to myself. Good enough. I heard the noisy car down the road then slowed then went down the road. Whatever he was hiding I was going to force it out of him tonight. But just the thought of having Zane. In my room, at night, sleeping, made my head think crazy thoughts.