I really haven't been counting the days...its almost as if i should though because i feel I'm going to die soon...almost as if i should be cherishing the days i have. i thought i kicked my fear of death, i keep telling myself if your willing to pick up your sword then you should also be ready to die, then why is it that I've been staying up later and later...I've believe i have grown a case of paranoia as well. at night i hear voices tormenting me of my sins. "you should stop." "your disgracing the lord."
i know I've sinned...but getting angry at myself won't help...all i can do is continue to carry my spiritual weight. then again i know the voices are just in my head...you become exhausted and lose your sense of reality...its common for someone who hasn't slept much. well why..even though I'm aware that its not real it still hurts...
we all have our demons, weather you can see them or not.
its been a few days past and i find myself losing grip of everything...i act normal around everyone else because someone has to be strong...you know that feeling you get when you have a dream that seemed so real...then you just wake up, its like that all day for me...i keep feeling like I'm losing myself...in the end, i looked at my family
my younger siblings..so young not aware of the bad in life...i have decided, i refuse death for everyone else. i will survive...its not a matter of what you can or cannot do...its what your willing to do
- Title: Schizophrenia
- Artist: obiyakasu o kage
its how a lot of us feel in life, some are willing and some aren't.
its not my reality but it is relative. i hope to get to all of my readers...not just one group.
-beware of grammar nazis-
- Date: 07/06/2010
- Tags: schizophrinia
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