• THE empty hall became immediately full as I blinked back blurry tears. The bell rang and soon everyone would see me again- the goth girl obsessed with wierd music. And Yeah, its true. They would see me cry and laugh, like they always did, and say "your in middle school now. Grow up!"
    I quickly walked down the hall and threw myself into the bathroom. Ah, sanctuary. I leaned against the bathroom wall and let myslef fall, crying in my arms. I had no life, no friends but Jo, and he never even talked to me. My heart was full of dramatic tradegies from age 6 to now, and they would never spill out, only keep filling until my lungs overflowed with pain and my heart snapped in two.
    My body was all hot and sweaty from nerviousness of being seen. The two five-minute switching periods when no one came i the bathroom was at the end of the day- eighth period. I allowed myself to be calm because that was now. Suddenly, the door opened and in the doorway were the two biggest jerks in the entire school, getting ready to put make-up on.
    McKenzie glared at me and laughed. "Goth freak, get up and move. Your in the way."
    I sighed and held my ground firmly as her pet, sierra, kicked my side. i yapped a silent 'ow', and scooched over to the other side. The two laughed at me and contined their make-up applying.
    No matter how hard I tried to ignore them, my eyes kept falling on them. And theirs on me. "What do you want?" Sierra spat.
    I looked away in anger and sorrow, my eyes drying up, before I realized the bell was going to ring and my next class was upstairs.
    I wiped my eyes and pulled myself up, pushing through the girls to get to the next class. They smudged their make-up because I bumped into them, and then they cursed to me.
    Suddenly, I felt good about myself.

    Science was easy- everyone was too worn out to bully me right now. so as my science teacher lectured about crap I dont care about, I doodled in my notebook. Pictures of chibis, and stars and broken hearts.
    In the middle of the page, I sketched an anime drawing of my idol- long black hair in a ponytail out of a hat with a lip, nose and eyebrow ring, winking his perfect eyes. Miyavi- the Japanese idol singer and guitarist. He was touring for his new album in december, and it was just november. Not even. It was close to december. My heart was thudding in excitement every minute that I knew I'd be seeing him live.
    This wasn't the first time. Just a year ago I saw him, and it was amazing- I was so close... And he looked me dead in the eye at one point, making me cry. And I did. I cried my eyes out. I cheered and smiled and hoped he would notice me more.
    "Angela!"
    I sighed. "Miyavi..."
    The class began to giggle.
    I looked up at my teacher, who was in front of my desk. "Mind telling us about what you think of the theory?"
    My eyes began to swell again. "Uh..."
    "This is an example of an unprepared student, class." She called. "Angela, i'll be seeing you after class."
    I put my head down after she left, letting tears soak in. I wasnt crying because i was a crybaby, but because I always screw things up...
    My mind suddenly went to the fact that all I ever do is screw things up and cry about it later. My heart began to swell.

    As I finally left the school, sad and annoyed, i tried to focus on the good things- Miyavi. Miyavi. Miyavi.
    I couldnt stop myslef from falling and crying. All he ever was is my hero, and it jyst makes me feel worse knowing ill never get to ask him the one question i have always wanted to ask...!
    And i sighed and picked myself up to hide in the pain.

    Hours turned into days, which turned into weeks, which eventually came the day of the concert. A saturday, on a cool wintery evening, my dad piled me in the car and drove me down to the house of blues in Dallas to take me to the concert. my mind was running, Oh my god, oh my GOD!!! I couldn't think about anything other than two oh's and a my god.
    When I was there, ticket in hand, I stood in line, my heart pounding. Conversing was even too much, because i couldn't keep my mond off of Miyavi. this, by far, was the greatest day of my life.
    And, to save you the detail, im gonna skip to the concert.

    The room was piled with 400 annoying teenage and mid-twenties women screaming for miyavi to 'get his skinny asian butt onstage'. Some were silent, like me, in hopes he'll see us. Yeah, right.
    Suddenly, the music went off and the lights dimmed. Fog erupted on the stage, and the drummer hit a note, and then played a beat. The whole stadium was screaming, and my ears were ringing. And i was happy that i didn't blink, because if I did, I would have missed the pale, small asian jump onstage with his guitar. Quite the entrance.
    Immediately Miyavi began singing his single, Torture, and tapping his foot to the beat. I was so close to the stage, so close... There was a microphone right in front of me, that was it. And I assumed Miyavi would be using that Microphone eventually.
    After the first song he put his hands up to motion for silence, and he walked over to the microphone in front of me. My eyes began to water, and I held my hand out. Miyavi looked ahead, not at me, and talked into the microphone. People must have wanted to hear because it was quiet, but I couldn't hear. My whole world was frozen in 'oh my poop miyavi is right there'.
    He strummed his guitar and cheered something, and everyone screamed back.
    "Are you ready to rock?" He called, moving back, then beginning to play.
    Then- it happened. His eyes met mine. And for a brief, five seconds, my world shifted, and I was where he was, on that stage, ecah note and step drilled into my head as I followed, watching over the cheering fans, smiling. Then, I shot back to my own world so quickly, it felt real. And everything was so vivid, and had color, rather than just the memory I expected it to be.
    My eyes went black, just when I didn't want them to. I could feel myself collapsing, but this was more than just a faint. And someone onstage knew that, because the music stopped and i felt the shell of my head ram onto the floor. I heard faint rambling in Japanese through the microphone, and then a voice.
    "Hey," A weak english voice echoed. "If your okay, open your eyes, or were gonna have to call an ambulence and bring you backstage."
    As if I would open my eyes. I didnt even have to try not to smile. I felt like I was... Bleeding.
    "Your gonna stop the whole concert." The voice added.
    Oh my god, that was Miyavi! Talking to me! I thought i'd be okay, but I wasnt. My mind was drifting further and further off. I felt water seep from my eyes.
    I heard a mumble that said 'ambulence' and '30 minutes away'.
    "Aw, screw it." And then, I heard clamping down stairs, and all the body heat around me was away, as if everyone moved, then I was being lifted, carried. A sweaty, hot, clothed body was holding me, mumbling to people around him. Then a pause. An amplified voice called, "The concert will resume momentarily." And from my closed lids, i could tell lights were going back to normal, and I could smell fog clouding over me.
    My dad! this must have been my dad! If it's not, he'll be worried sick...
    I felt myself being laid onto a cold wood table or something. Japanese rants then. I understood few words, like 'okay' and 'sick' and 'alive'.
    I felt fingers snap in front of my face. "Hello?" Weak english called.
    I moaned and sighed. "Hello..." I repeated.
    I heard 'okay' in Japanese again, and then marching. "Their getting water for you."
    I heard loud chatter that must have been the crowd. I was apart from them. "My spot..." I sighed. "Who's getting water?"
    "My guards."
    My breath stopped, and I reached my hands up. A warm hand took it and put it down again. "Wake up."
    "Guards?"
    "Yes. Open your eyes."
    Cold water was then rubbed on my face. I had to blink, to get the wierd feeling off me. Then, I looked up and there he was- his black ponytail over his shoulder, his hat off, and a smile on his face. "There we go. How are you feeling?"
    My heart stopped. "Miyavi-"
    "Don't get all fangirl on me or i'll sue you for false sickness or however that works."
    I pointed to him. "Y-your miyavi..."
    He nodded. "That I am."
    I took the water and gulped it down, hoping when I pulled the bottle away he would really be my dad or something. Why was I hoping that!?
    "Are you well to stand enough?" He tripped over the english languege. "I mean-"
    "Its okay."
    He smiled. "I'm Miyavi."
    "I know."
    He laughed a bit. "So, Can you stand?" He stood, holding a hand up. "Or do we need to rush that ambulence?"
    "No ambulence!" I spat, trying to sit up. My head felt like it was being stabbed, so I laid down.
    He sat by me and sighed, rubbling his temples. "Then What? Not rudely, but I have 400 people waiting for me out there."
    His english made me want to laugh. "Im sorry... You can go then, im fine with that. Ill stay back here. I won't touch anything- I promise!"
    He laughed. "I cant let a girl stay alone while i go sing. its rude."
    Stop raping the english languege! You make me wanna laugh! "Oh..."
    He put his hand on mine. "I said thirty minutes at most, after that if you not better, well call an ambulence." He was saying it like that on purpouse because he knows i think its funny when he talks like that. "Okay?"
    I nodded. "Can you help me up?"
    He took my hand and tried pulling me up, to no prevail. I just fell back down in pain. "Ow."
    He laughed as I sipped some more water. "Your funny."
    I shrugged. "Win some, make some laugh."
    We shared a laugh.
    "Hey, Miyavi?"
    he nodded.
    "Um, I just wanna say, your my hero, and stuff..."
    He was silent.
    "Like, I get made fun of alot, and I really cerish your music and the way you are. I have a goal and it's to be just like you..." I sighed. "I just wanna know what it's like to be on the stage... In front of people that would kill to meet you..."
    He smiled. "You'll know some day. And..." He was talking, but I was drifting away. I wanted to hear! I never got to ask the question! No!

    I woke up in my room. It was day, the sun was too bright. I looked around. The concert!
    I ran downstairs. "Dad!" He was at his computer, working.
    "Hey, Angela." He turned, taking off his glasses.
    "...I missed the concert..." I sighed.
    "Their having one in two weeks in huston and he gave me four tickets. Free." Dad smiled.
    "But... I never got to ask him..."
    He stood. "Get dressed. I have to run to the gas station and I cant leave you home alone."
    I sighed and thudded up the stairs.
    As I changed, I had to wonder what really happened. My dad said 'he' gave us tickets. But who is 'he'? Miyavi? I ran back down the stairs and grabbed my purse. "Ready."
    My dad and I jumped in the car and began driving to the gas station. The whole way there I could only wondedr what really happened. My dad pulled into the gas station and looked up. "Dang, they have a wedding limo today." He looked at the limo that took up two pumps.
    "And a bus is coming in." I pointed to a big grey bus that was turning into the station. I ignored it and looked at my dad. "Can I go buy a soda while were here?"
    He sighed and pulled out a five dollar bill. "Hurry."
    I ran in and looked in the cold section, pulling out a pepsi when I heard someone come in, ranting in Japanese.
    Oh lordy.
    I turned, and there he was again, by miricale. "Miyavi?" I quietly said.
    He turned to me. "Oh, it's you." He waved. "Feeling better?"
    "Yeah!"
    "You didn't miss much at the show," He approached me. "And we have to drive through here to get to our next destination. I guess this is just irony."
    I nodded. "Yeah, it is..."
    "Hey, you said im your hero?"
    I nodded sharply.
    "Hows about a signed CD from your hero, as a Get Well present?" He smiled. "I thought about that just as you passed out again."
    My heart stopped, and my only thought was to hug him. And when I did, he hugged me back.
    "I'll tell you, fame is giving up too much..." He told me, pulling away. "If you willing to risk life, you can be famous."
    I nodded. "Um... Yeah, that sounds right."
    After I bought my soda and he bought some beer, we headed out. Sure enough, that huge bus was his tour bus! My dad looked and smiled when he saw miyavi right there. He walked to my dad and shook hands, explaining what he was going to do.
    "Great show," Dad said.
    Miyavi glicked the top of his hat as a thank you i guess, said 'arigotou' and walked to the bus.
    He went in and came out with a crisp, clean CD and a sharpie. "Here you go." He just finished signing it and handed it to me. "Hey, their getting gas, so i can break the rules and talk to you."
    I laughed. "Um, can I get a picture with you?"
    He didn't even think before nodding.
    I pulled one of his guards over to take a picture of us with my camera. After, Miyavi handed his guard his IPhone and said somethign in Japanese. The guard stood back and took a picture with miyavi sticking his tounge out, with his arm around me, giving me bunny ears. I winked one eye and smiled, and like that, it was over.
    He smiled and waved, taking his phone. "Will I see you in Hustion?"
    "Of course!"
    He nodded. "See you there, then!"
    And I watched him climb in the bus and drive away.

    "...He got his IPhone and took a picture with me!" I called to Kayla on the phone.
    "No way! Your bluffing!"
    "No!" I sat in my chair and logged into facebook. "I did! I have one too!"
    I clicked the notification box, that informed me I was tagged in a photo. I clicked on it as Kayla ranted about how jealous she was.
    After the page loaded, my eyes widened. On Miyavi's facebook, he had found and tagged me in the picture on his iphone. It was in a folder called 'fans'.
    and the caption said the awnser to the question I never really asked: 'To be famous you must give up the present and prepare for the future'.