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I'm finally back home from school. I never knew how tiring it was to spend the whole day there.
I miss my preschool days. I would be able to play after doing my seat work and when I got back home in the afternoon, I would watch cartoons.
I really miss being lazy but I'm seven years old now, meaning I should act like a grown-up kid. I should be like my sister.
Dinner was delicious. I forgot the name of what I ate though but it really tasted good with rice.
I should get changed now.
Oh, my sister's in the room. I'll ask her how she is. I wonder why she's crying.
MY SISTER'S THE WORSE. WHY WOULD SHE HIT ME? I can't fight back because she's my sister. It hurts so much that I cried like a baby. I hid under the covers so she wouldn't hit me again. I hear her screaming about how she hated everything. She slammed the door when she left. I'm too scared to come out. I guess I'll just fall asleep, even if it's too early.
"Hey. Hey, wake up."
I woke up to the sound of my sister calling me. I wonder how long I was out. The room looks pretty dim now. When I sat up, I saw her at the doorway. She was crying and holding a knife over her wrist.
I wanted to shout, "PUT THAT AWAY! NO! DON'T!", but I couldn't. I didn't want to disturb my parents who were probably sleeping in the next room. All I did was cry more and told her, "No. Please, no". She stood there for what seemed like hours, trying to tempt herself to slit her wrist. However, she knew she couldn't do it and placed the knife away to her side. With teary eyes, she then said, "I'm just joking. You think that I'll actually do it?". "I'll put this back in the kitchen", she chuckled. She disappeared through the door and into the darkness of the hall.
The terror didn't end for me there. Many thoughts were racing in my head.
Will she really put it back? Will she kill herself there instead because she couldn't do it in front of me? Should I wake up my parents? No, I shouldn't go out. She might attack me. Should I go to sleep then? No, she might stab me with the knife. Should I wait for the screams of my mom tomorrow morning, if she's really killed herself? Yes. Yes, I should.
I continued to stare at the door, waiting for my sister. I try to listen for her footsteps so I know she's alive. It was a few minutes, or what felt like an hour for me, that had passed when she finally returned. She was still crying but not so much. She began to smile a little too.
We stayed up talking that night. She mostly talked. She apologized for scaring me and said that she was stressed out from school. I don't know how long it was before she said good night. The last thing I saw before I slept was that it was already 11:30 pm on the clock.
In the next morning, everything was just normal. I don't think my parents know what happened last night, because everything was just normal. I wondered if I should tell them. No, I shouldn't. I don't want to jinx it. If she had the will to think about it once, she could do it again. I should keep quiet. Nothing good comes out from me anyway. Nothing.
It took me more than ten years to tell someone else of the incident. I figured it was fine to say it out loud. She's already happily working and has a boyfriend and lots of friends.
It's fine to say so this time.
I guess it's alright now.
I'm willing to jinx her.
I hope it works.
- by Kaylie Kats |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 05/24/2013 |
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- Title: First Grader
- Artist: Kaylie Kats
- Description: I've read the story of how a young kid was traumatized by witnessing a suicidal attempt. I hope she has recovered and that she wouldn't do the same.
- Date: 05/24/2013
- Tags: first grader horror psychological trauma
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