-
I open my eyes but quickly shut them again; the light shining through is more intense than I remember. I hear my brothers and sister stirring around me and I feel my closest brother, Tobi, nudging me, telling me it’s time to get up. Mother should be back soon and he doesn’t want me to miss out. Usually I’m the one to eat last, simply because I don’t feel the need to eat as often as my siblings. Tobi is bothered by this and always tries to get me up earlier and earlier so that maybe I can eat as much as the others do.
I stand and stretch as best I can in the cramped den. We’ve all grown so much we can barely fit in here anymore. Mother insists we’re going to be able to roam free soon, but for now she wants us to be safe. She says there are too many bad humans around. I’ve never seen a human but from her stories they sound terrifying. She says they have no fur, they walk on two legs, and they carry things that could kill any animal without even touching it. She says they’re destroying the world with smelly fumes and big machines that eat up the grass and trees. Her stories of them frighten me and my siblings so much that we never want to leave the den.
But sooner or later we’re going to have to. We can barely fit in here and we need to learn to hunt like our mother. She’s the best hunter ever! When I grow up I want to be just like her.
As I give Tobi a soft lick on the ear, a greeting, I hear Mother approaching. My siblings begin to wine softly in excitement; they seem to dance on their paws, eager to eat. As she enters, carrying two large rabbits, I realize something is not right. Her eyes are filled with something I can only describe as fear. Her body movement is quick, fidgety. She drops the rabbits and tells us we need to eat quickly. I approach her slowly, ignoring the rabbits that the others start to tear into. “What’s wrong, Mother?”
I can tell she’s struggling to keep a calm front. “You are too big for the den and we need to find a new home…” She glances behind her. “Far away from this one.”
My brothers cry out in excitement, my sister comes up beside me. “Are you gonna teach us to hunt, Mother?”
“Soon, Brooke, as soon as we can relocate. It might take a few days so eat up. You’ll need the energy.” Brooke does as my mother says. “You should eat too, Ash. Your brothers look like they might take it all. It’s un lady like not to accept something that has been given to you.”
I ignore her. “Is it the humans?”
“Hush! Hurry, eat. Don’t speak of them!” She growls at me.
I’ve never seen her growl before. It’s terrifying and I quickly do as she tells me, tearing into one of the rabbits and swallowing mouthfuls of warm flesh. She may be able to fool my siblings, but she can’t fool me. She and I have always been the closest and I can tell when something is seriously wrong about her.
Tobi looks at me and catches on. He knows I’m the bravest one here and he can tell when I’m spooked that something bad is going to happen.
When we finish eating Mother gathers us and speaks in a hushed tone. “I’m taking you somewhere safe. It’s going to be a long journey but I know we can make it if we stick together. Brooke, you stay close to Rush. You two will stay together no matter what. Stick close to me. Blaze, you stick to Tobi’s side. Ash,” she turns to me. “You stay with Strike.”
I nod, though Strike and I don’t exactly get along. I glance at him and catch him glaring at me. I begin to feel uneasy and I’m not sure why.
Mother rushes us to finish, then leads us from the den.
Outside the sun is bright and it’s hard to keep from squinting. I can tell the others are having trouble too; some of them have to keep their heads down. I try not to, just in the case of danger. “Keep your eyes open, little ones. You never know when…”
She’s cut off suddenly by a loud bang. Something hits the ground beside us and my mother grabs Tobi by the scruff with her jaws. “Run!” she mumbles around a mouthful of fur. Not paying attention to anyone else I bolt in the opposite direction of the noise, terrified. I run as fast as I can, Strike at my side.
“We’re supposed to stay together!” He cries, trying to keep up.
“Well, hurry up then!” I glance behind me and see my siblings frantically trying to keep up with us. Mother is nowhere to be seen. I swing my head back around so that I don’t run into anything and what I see before me terrifies me. Two hairless beings walking on their hind legs rush towards my brother and me. They’re closer to me and my brother is able to escape, but as I frantically try to stop and run the other way one of them grabs me. I struggle to get free, crying out to my brother. Before the thing that grabbed me puts me in a bag I catch a glimpse of Strike disappearing into the trees.
- by TheHybridYuki |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 06/25/2013 |
- Skip
- Title: Ashes
- Artist: TheHybridYuki
-
Description:
Just read it please? I'm not really trying to make this into anything just trying to see if I can master this odd perspective.
Rate honestly and comments are always appreciated. - Date: 06/25/2013
- Tags: ashes
- Report Post
Comments (2 Comments)
- Killer_Kiwi_XD - 06/29/2013
- This is very well done but there are a few sentences in there that should be taken out. (mainly when the young wolf mentions her mother is a great hunter) and also your main character seems to be slightly egotistical. Her first proclamations are that she is better than her siblings and closest to her mother. It creates a sort of dislike for the character that can be easily remedied. If you want to make this longer try drawing out the interactions with the characters a bit. Well done.
- Report As Spam
- Adrik the Great - 06/25/2013
- I really like the way you were able to capture the perspective of another species, and the way you put it together. Try some more perspectives, because I really liked this one. smile
- Report As Spam