• Dear Somebody,


    So how have you been? Or rather, a better question(for me) is how is heaven or where ever you're at? You know me..I've still haven't figured out exactly who or what I believe in.


    It's been almost half a year since you've been gone. It's been sort of...Difficult without my confidant around. I mean, of course I have other people I can trust or talk to, but it was always easier to talk to you. Maybe it was because you never really made judgments; You just listened.


    Now that I really stop to think about it, we really helped each other out a lot. Of course, your issues were much more serious than mine, but I was still able to help out in some way if needed. And you definitely helped me out more than once.


    I remember when you found out your twin sister was pregnant. It was so nerve-racking on your part, seeing as you weren't even at your own house. We were both freaking out; You could hardly even type. I was trying to calm you down some, but even I knew you couldn't calm down. Your sister and her twins are doing fine, by the way(though you may already know that, but still).


    When you told me you had cancer..That had to be one of the worst days of my life. I cried so much that day. I would stop crying..Only to start again. My only thoughts that day revolved around hows and whys. How did this happen? Why did this happen? These were questions I never got answers to, and I still don't have them.


    Since that day, I've really just started thinking about..Well..Everything in general. I question a lot of things now, my biggest question being, "Why are we here? What's our purpose?" Of course, I don't think there are really any right answers, but just thinking about it..I can't really put it into words.


    When I found out you died, I honestly wasn't that surprised. I'd known for a while you weren't doing that well, and I also knew that the type of cancer you had didn't have a high survival rate. Slim to none chance of living. None of that took away from the pain, though. I don't even think I could explain how I felt..You were so dear to me that when you were gone..There just aren't any words.


    When you died, I didn't just lose a best friend. You become like a family member to me..Like a sister I never had.


    It's been almost six months. Life went(and goes) on. I never forget any of the things you taught me. I don't think I could. I remember you everyday, and that won't change.


    So I hope you're okay, and who knows? Maybe we'll meet again(maybe I'll even start to believe).


    Love always,


    Nicole