Death Inside by Demoness Thorn

• Artist: Sarah be pervin
• Description: This is a poem I came up with when my ex broke up with me, and that i felt so lonely...and i put those emotions in this poem...that's all i have to say
  
  Hope you all enjoy,
  
  Demoness Thorn
• Date: 08/02/2008
• Tags: poetrysorrowheartbreakdeathinside

Inside i'm bleeding my crimson lead
No one can save me, I am already dead.
Dead inside with no remorse,
Pale as the moon like a corpse.
And though I can't smile,
My crimson stained lips leave you beguile.
With my broken heart beating,
And i'm retreating.
As I lay in my bed,
Inside I am totally dead.
My eyes faded like mist in the shade,
My lonely eyes, eyes of jade.

Comments

[exenanalii]

this poem is very good, but I feel like the use of the word "totally" killed the mood of the poem try using a diffrent word (like completely)

[YuzoraRyuu]

First off you are still young and being alone is not the end of the world. Secondly you have a ALOT of potential. This poem has very good flow and rythmn. Shut your mouth and have some understanding Baiyuna. XP BTW 5/5

[Baiyuna]

death well... thats retarded :/ 0/5

[DJ Hotplumpnicoleprimaj]

it is very good and i am vry sorry bout tat it must hav been hard??!!

[kiraryu1]

thats amazingly beautiful. i love it its like some of my work. i know how you feel. its chillingly beautiful