• It is a Hollow I cannot fill,

    I pine for it,

    But I do not belong, anywhere.

    I watch groups of friends interact,

    Smile, laugh, kiss, dance,

    It hurts so badly as I realise want to be a part of it so much,

    I want to laugh without a care in the world,

    I want to have days where we get together and just talk about the things we love.

    I want days where we just mess about and do nothing,

    I want to be able to give and receive hugs and kisses,

    I want to be capable of love, of trust,

    But I understand that, it is not to be.

    I am always looking in from outside,

    Standing on the edge smiling pathetically to myself,

    Living vicariously through those that I watch,

    Spending evenings imagining myself as a part of those groups,

    Tears coursing down my cheeks as I smile dreaming of the things I can never have,

    Taking a sadistic pleasure in gathering as many memories of those forbidden pleasures,

    Of comfort, of happiness and love,

    I cannot stop watching for fear of drowning in the depression of a realisation where I truly understand that I am denied the very things I spend my days viewing.

    Alone I stand outside that dirty window peering in.

    Even if I could gather up the courage to knock on the glass and ask to be let in, I would fall short.

    Because in my world, although there is a window, there is certainly not....

    A door.