So this thing I've got for coffee house guy is turning
into a full blown "crush". Classes just started back,
and of course I've been looking for him in all of them,
to no avail, unfortunately. My heart even skipped a
beat in my first class when a guy walk in that I thought
was him at first.
And then it hurt when I realized it wasn't.
Yet, still no sign of the butterflies when I do see him.
I just missed him at lunch today; he was walking in
as I was leaving. Of course, I'm still too shy to just
start up a conversation with him outside the cafeteria
so I can spend time with him. I just don't know what
to do in these situations. I've never really been a
girly girl, and I've never really flirted or even tried
to land a boyfriend before. I was always just one of
the guys before; I cuss, I spit, I tell bad jokes and
watch action movies. But now I have to act like a
girl all of the sudden. It's just, so weird. I don't
know what I'm supposed to do here. I'm thinking
about him at night, I'm making sure I look good
before I go out the door in case I run into him,
I'm constantly looking around to see him, and I
guarantee you if I had my car with me up here
I'd be driving to the coffee house every night.
I don't even know if he has a girlfriend or not;
granted, I've never seen him with one, there could
be some chick back home waiting on him. I guess
I should be used to being on my own by now. I've
never had a boyfriend, I've never dated anyone;
hey, if you'd seen the choices I had in MS and HS,
you would have done the same.
I'm just not used to it hurting. It's just this weird
dull ache whenever I think about him. I want to
at least try it. Hell, I've got to date someone
eventually. I just don't know how to do this.
I guess I'm waiting for some sort of miracle, like always.
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What You Need To Know About Life
More Specifically, Mine.
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