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Prologue:
"Has Thou cast this curse and injury upon me for repentance! What have we done?" He yelled, screaming to the Heavens. He believed it could convey all his feelings and pains. He and she had been shot. The gunner is in custody. Medics are tending to her wound-one bullet to the left thigh. She screamed in pain and is now dazed and semi-conscious.
He had been shot twice protecting her. One in the lower leg shattering the bone. Another in the right shoulder. He had stumbled out of the school. The sight of him quieted the onlookers. He hobbled over and fell to his knees in front of the lone oak tree that's branches spread out in a dominating, perfect umbrella. He felt a divine aura from Him resonating off the tree. The crowd is quite, the ambulance inaudible. He slowly loses consciousness and falls into the field of playful grass; dancing with the wind on this mid-summer day at school.
She awakes when the doctor walks in to check on Takashi.
"Oh, you are awake already. Thats... wow!" The doctor believing the drugs would keep her out cold 'til noon.
All of Sara's friends had come. They waited dreadfully in the lobby. They had the nurses leave flowers and cards for them. Most of them were in-between Takashi and Sara because they were from friends of both.
- by Takashi Hiroyama |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 01/15/2009 |
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- Title: The Look
- Artist: Takashi Hiroyama
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Description:
A group of kids from 1 school are accepted to a special Fine Arts school in a desolate bright green grassland. Everything goes well until she looks at him. Starting 9th grade, they all have had changes. They are all friends. Only Choir, band, and orchestra students are invited to come. What happens here changes all their lives.
-Mild Violence
Adapting story, please reply any comments or questions. - Date: 01/15/2009
- Tags: look love school
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Comments (3 Comments)
- mysticrydder - 03/29/2009
- um, work on spelling, puncuation, and..... great story!
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- salemboy94 - 01/18/2009
- I noticed that your tenses, as in Past tense, and Present tense, are confusing. Working on these will definitely improve your writing ability.
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- Rakashael - 01/15/2009
- Interesting. It is a little hither and thither as far as the setting goes. You like to play on words I see. I do suggest you work on placement of puncuation because it helps with the flow of a story. I would like to hear more about this story.
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