• Chapter 1
    “Trapped”


    Jane Gresham walked through the halls of her family’s estate as one condemned. All around her was buzzing with activity and excitement. The guests of her engagement ball walking up to her, some wearing army uniforms and all wearing big toothy grins congratulating her on her most perfect engagement one of the most respected men in all of England. She hated it. She had no room to walk anywhere, as she was right outside of the ballroom. She couldn’t breathe. She felt as though she was locked inside the tiniest of broom closets jam packed with more than a dozen people. It didn’t help that her corset was laced too tightly either.

    As everyone was called into the ballroom the General, Edgar DeWitt, came out to greet his bride with a kiss on each hand. He offered his arm to Jane and she took it, grudgingly. She didn’t want to but she knew that when a man offers his to a lady you take it. Outside of the ballroom doors they waited, until the announcement was made for them to enter. When they walked in everyone stood up and cheered. It was then that Jane realized that she had no idea who any of the guests were.

    Later, after the toasts were made to the “happy couple”, the band started to play a popular high tempo waltz. Men asked the women all to dance and as Edgar and Jane danced in the center of the ballroom, a single tear leaked out of Jane’s eye. As the music stopped Jane told Edgar she needed to go powder her nose. As she turned to walk away he caught her arm and turned her to give her a kiss. As he came closer Jane turned her head where the he paused for a moment then completed his motion, after which he let go. As she walked away he said, “I know you don’t like me,” Well, this caught Jane so off guard that she paused, stunned at what she had just heard.
    “What makes you think that?” she replied.
    “Maybe it’s because you can’t even stand the site of me?”
    “That’s not true,” replied Jane, knowing full well that it was.
    “Yes it is, but that doesn’t matter. A man never backs away from a promise, I will marry you, I love you,” And with those final words he turned and walked away with a bow leaving Jane standing by herself.

    “It doesn’t matter what he says,” Jane thought to herself walking outside, “I can never love him. I’m only eighteen and mother and father are complaining that I should have had several children by now, but I don’t want that yet. I’m not ready to marry let alone be a mother. I want to be a novelist! I need to get out of here! I want to have adventures that I can write about! I want to see the world! I want freedom!” Jane was thinking so much to herself that when she was walking through the garden she didn’t even take notice of where she was going. She had wandered onto a part of the property she had never seen before. Her chaperone never let her walk around the property by herself. She loved being able to wander around without anyone telling her where she could and couldn’t go. For Jane, it was a breath of fresh air to have a moment where someone wasn’t controlling her life, and she wanted it to be like that always. She never thought in a millions years that she would ever have a moment of freedom.

    Looking around the garden she noticed a bench, which she quickly sat down on. Running her fingers over it she discovered it was made of stone. Intrigued as she was by the curves of the carving she still felt the all too familiar pains in her feet, pains that she felt everyday and that were always present. She quickly bent down and took off her shoes and massaged her aching feet. For all the years of wearing heals, her toes were slightly bent and crooked. While massaging her feet Jane tried to straighten one of her toes. “Ouch,” it hurt her so much that she made a mental note not to do that again. Then, just for the sake of living she loosened up her corset. As the laces came looser and looser, she gulped in the cool night air as a baby would gulp air taking its first breath. She lay down on the bench, her eyes closed, taking a deep breath. The smell of that summer’s cherry blossoms wafting down to her from a near by tree. When she opened her eyes she saw the bright twinkling stars above her. She had never seen the stars before and their beauty captivated her.

    While she was gazing at the stars she heard twigs snap and Edgar’s voice echoing in the distance calling her name, “Jane? Jane?” Startled she got up quickly and grabbed her shoes and ran. Jane ran as quickly as she could. She was filled with so much excitement that she hardly knew where she was going and by the time she stopped running she was at a lake on the property that was totally out of view of the house. All she could see from that direction was the aura of light that emanated from the manor.

    Jane stopped beside a pond she had never known was on the property of the manor. She examined herself in the reflection of the glassy surface of the water and waded in, deeper and deeper, until the water reached the middle of her thighs. She saw her reflection larger in the water and the light of the moon illuminated her face, with red painted lips and her red curls that cascaded down to her waist, her hair fell down while running. The red of her hair brought out the blue ombre dyed fabric that faded to white at the bottom. She saw the gold thread that created the decorative spirals on her dress and she frowned. She splashed the water with her hand and sent ripples through the water. She felt that the image of the face wasn’t hers and that it stared up at her mockingly.

    Jane watched the fish swim around and examine the material of her dress. She laughed hysterically and started to chase the fish, the bottom of her dress becoming heavier with water with every movement she made, and she hadn’t a care in the world. She loved the feeling of freedom and she didn’t want to go back to reality ever.

    ********

    As Jane marched her way back to the manor she saw her father and the General DeWitt walking toward her looking livid. As Edgar looked at her hair, which had fallen down, her soaked dress and her smudged lipstick he scoffed at her and went inside. Jane turned to her father, “Is the party over?” she asked.
    “Yes it is. The King and Queen of England were here to offer their blessings and you were nowhere to be found! Where were you? Never mind! I don’t want to know!”
    “Where were you,” Edgar said calmly without giving any hint of the anger that was brewing inside of him. It was this calm tone in his voice that was so disconcerting to Jane and what made her feel the most ashamed. “Why did you run from the party, you know how important it was to be there,”
    “I’m, I’m,” she stuttered in response. Jane bowed her head and frowned angrily. She was angry with herself for letting her father yell at her. She hesitated then raised her head to say something but Edgar walked away leaving her alone to march up to her room in silence.

    With her head bowed she opened the door and immediately felt the walls close in around her, suffocating her. She felt as though her movements were constricted. Despite the shear size of the bedroom, claustrophobia started to set in causing her chest to hurt when she breathed. Her room had once felt like a shrine, a place of protection, and her, the deity, but now it felt as though it was a prison, and she was the prisoner. She knew that whatever displeasure Edgar or her father held, she held ten-fold. Jane paced around the room only stopping to consider her predicament and weather or not she should go down to the kitchen for a bite to eat. She was hungry and she had missed dinner because she had run away from the party. It was worth it at the time but now her stomach was paying for it by growling loudly. Upset with herself for not standing up to the oppressive reign of her father and Edgar, she stayed in that prison only to come out for meals until the day of her wedding.