• Nighttime has fallen. Cicadas started to make their sounds that broke the night’s silence. Darkness spread throughout the area, save for the little light cast by the moon and stars that scattered across the obsidian abyss.

    Quietly as I could, I went through the forest, trying not to make the leaves rustle. I went down the quickest way towards the abode of Catherine, a sweet, beautiful, and an innocent-looking woman.

    As the thought of Catherine came into my mind, I stopped in my tracks, now reluctant to move forward. Catherine… the woman that I once loved… the woman who taught me how to break down my emotional fortress and let someone actually know the real me… the one who truly loved me back despite knowing who I really am and what I do…

    The woman whose life I must end.

    I want to turn back right at this very moment. I do not want to see her in agony as her life drains. But this is my duty; I must obey my superior. I must end Catherine’s life.

    No… This is all wrong! How can I bring myself to kill her? How can I kill the woman that I love more than my own life?

    I still went forward despite feeling remorseful of what I am about to do. And there it was, her manor, the place that held the most memories of her; the place that weakens me every time I come near.

    Closing my eyes, I concentrated in locating her, trying to find out if she is all alone or not. But I cannot think properly, for my mind wanders towards the thought of her beautiful face and her gentle embrace. My head suddenly hurt with the effort of concentrating, but along with that came a realization about Catherine’s whereabouts: she is not in the manor; she is by the forest lake.

    I rushed to the lake, not caring if I made noise, not caring if I startled the sleeping animals. Why is she there? Of all places, why there? Why in the place where it all began…?

    As I quietly made my way near the lake, I hid myself behind the tall grass. Catherine was there, not that far away from where I was, seated on a boulder as her feet are dipped in the mirror-like water. Her long, shiny, black hair cascaded down her back and her white gossamer nightgown moved slightly with the wind. She seemed like the spirit of the moon that descended to this world… and it pains me to think that… she’ll soon be one of the spirits…

    I then heard a faint but familiar tune. It came from her… she is humming the lullaby that I used to sing to her whenever she fell asleep on my lap every time we go to this lake. A part of me wanted to just stay here and listen to her angelic voice, but a part of me is being tormented, for it might be the last time that I might hear her hum that lullaby.

    I do not want to hide myself any longer. I came out of the place where I hid and went quietly towards her. Hearing her voice torments me and I somehow wished that she would stop.

    I was already behind her when she stopped humming. I hesitated for a moment but I held against it and embraced her from behind. I felt her hands slowly and gently take hold of my arm. The feeling of longing surged within me. How can I bring myself to kill this woman…?

    “I knew you’d come for me, Siegmund…” she softly said without looking at me. My heart ached when she mentioned my name.

    “Why are you here, Catherine?” I asked her as she stood up then faced me, freeing herself from my embrace.

    “I always come here…” she answered, her eyes full of longing. “If I’m here, I can feel that I am with you… And… I knew that you’ll come for me tonight…”

    I cannot carry out my mission now… I cannot kill the woman that I love…

    “You knew that I was coming. You knew that I have a task to carry out. Why did you not try to escape?” I asked. It sounded so stupid to my ears.

    “Death is inevitable, Siegmund. You and I both know that.” she replied. “I am ready to die tonight, and I’m willing to surrender, for I know that it is you who I will surrender my life to.”

    “Catherine, you do not know what you are saying! It’s your life that is at stake now; you can’t just give everything away easily as you did before!” I said to her, stepping a little farther from her. But even so, she closed up the gap between the two of us.

    “That’s how love is, right? You have to sacrifice even though it is not easy. Sometimes, you have to sacrifice because it is for the good of all.” Catherine said softly as she looked into my eyes. “That’s what I have in my mind when I let you go far away from me for a certain task of yours. It was hard to think that you’re out there so far away, but I was able to endure that thought, for I know that one day, you’ll come back.”

    “But I came back because of a mission as well.” I said back. “I thought that I won’t be able to manage being away from you. But this is, by far, the hardest thing that I must do. I must—”

    “Don’t.” Catherine interrupted. “I know what you must do. One life is at stake, and it’s either yours or mine. You must do your mission. I don’t want you do die, Siegmund!”

    “I don’t want to do it, Catherine!”

    “Siegmund… I know it’s hard for you to do so… but please, listen to me. You are far stronger to endure certain things than I could. If you die, I… I don’t know what I’ll do… You can’t die, Siegmund… You must not die…”

    “You’re crazy!”

    “I know what I’m saying!” she cried. I can’t stand the sight of tears streaming down from her eyes. “At some point in time, we will die. And by destiny’s decree… my time is now…”

    “There is no sense in further arguing with you, is there…?” I asked, hoping that it will all change.

    “You know me…If I decide on something, it stays that way…” Catherine replied, slightly smiling.

    “You are a fool, you know that?” I said to her.

    “I’ve been a fool for love, but I accept it.” she said back.

    And maybe for the final time, she embraced me tightly. I returned her embrace as I hoped that we would stay that way for eternity, with neither of us letting go. But it was not to be.

    She loosened her grasp and just stood there in front of me, her head bowed down, as if she’s expecting me to strike her down swiftly with a blade. That way of ending her life is one that I cannot endure.

    Gently, I lifted her chin so that her eyes would meet mine. They glistened with tears that welled up again. I was tormented by it. And then, slowly, I leaned in until my lips met hers.

    It seemed like déjà vu, for it felt like the first time that I kissed her. We were standing here, right on this very place and with the same moonlit scene around us. But now… this is not the first time… This is the last kiss before Catherine’s life will end… One last kiss to end it all…

    It felt like eternity, but I was brought back to reality when she pulled away, seemingly out-of-breath. It’s starting… it won’t be long now…

    She became heavy in my arms, like she is about to collapse. I heard her breathing heavily. I then sat down on the soft grass, with Catherine still in my arms. I looked at her face, trying to absorb every detail of it while trying not to think of her pained expression. Her eyes gazed upon the lake’s moonlit water, then, with some effort, turned her gaze to me. Her eyes still glistened, but only for a moment, then they lost their luster. I held her hand, knowing that she wants me to do so in her last moments.

    “Sing to me, Siegmund…” Catherine said through heavy breaths. Her death wish…

    “What do you want me to sing…?” I asked her. I cannot bear to see her slowly languishing…

    “Sing to me the lullaby that you used to sing before…” she answered. “Please… I just want to hear your song for the last time before I die…”

    Catherine smiled as she waited for me to sing. Gazing up at the moon, I softly started to sing the lullaby’s first words.

    As I got to the middle of the song, something started to choke me, like tears coming up. I tried to suppress those tears, for I wanted to do her death wish right. But as I sang, I felt silent tears roll down my face. The song that used to bring us hope for a better tomorrow now became a painful requiem…

    I looked down on Catherine; her eyes are closed now, but she is still breathing slowly, as if she is just sleeping. I hummed the lullaby for her as I waited for this torment to be over. Then, she slowly opened her eyes and looked at me again. She has that smile on her face; the smile that always assured me that tomorrow will arrive soon, and it will be better than before. A teardrop fell from the corner of her eye.

    “Siegmund…” she started, almost inaudibly.

    “Shh… don’t speak…” I interrupted. “Just close your eyes and… just take a rest…”

    “I just want you to… I just want you to know that… I love you… and I will never stop loving you… even if I die…” she continued weakly.

    “I will never stop loving you as well…” I replied, but guilt struck me like a thousand daggers stabbing me simultaneously. “I’m sorry… because I failed you… I’m sorry because… I wasn’t able to save you from this… I’m sorry… Because of me, you had to suffer greatly…”

    “Love is sacrifice…” Catherine repeated. “If one is to love another… that person must be willing to surrender all that he or she has for love’s sake…”

    I said nothing in reply. Catherine looked at me intently while my eyes held her gaze. And then, with one weak smile, her eyes glistened like the stars for a moment.

    “Goodbye, Siegmund…” she said.

    “You know that I don’t want to say goodbye…” I said back. She still managed to chuckle even if she already faced death…

    “Good night then, Siegmund…” Catherine’s last words…

    “Good night… Catherine…” And she drew her last breath then closed her eyes slowly as if she just fell asleep. Her hand fell lifelessly to her side, telling me that… she is gone… Catherine is gone…

    This time, I let myself be consumed with grief. I held Catherine’s body closer to me as I wept. I have failed her… She loved me with her whole life that she even gave it up for me… but I wasn’t able to save her… I have failed… How can I say that I truly love her if I just let her die…?

    I calmed down after a while, but tears still fell silently from my eyes. I stroked her hair gently, remembering the times that she would let me toy with it like a child. Her cheeks are cold against my skin, unlike the times that they were always warm with happiness every time we were together. I then noticed the little traces of her smile… She died in my arms and she is happy. But I will be forever tormented by this…

    Catherine lay in my arms, cold and still as the lake before us. And little by little, death started to claim her frail body. I gently kissed her forehead one last time before she slowly faded into the ether. She slowly disappeared until there was not a single trace of her left…