• For those of you with oh-so-perfect vision, you have never felt the bittersweet feelings associated with wearing contacts. I have to admit that it is wonderful to be able to see without having a foreign object clinging to my ears and resting on my nose (most people know this device as “glasses”). On the other hand, I am basically poking a circular piece of plastic in my eye and hoping that it will cooperate for the day. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’ve never been advised to put plastic in my eye. Now I have a doctor telling me that it’s okay because it’ll help my vision.

    Finding contacts that work for your vision is a chore in itself. You rely on your eye doctor to find a pair that will allow you to see clearly without wanting to stab your eyes out at a moments notice. At the moment I am in the process of readjusting to wearing contacts after a year’s hiatus, where glasses became my main visual enhancer. Let me tell you now; I am not pleased. I’m almost positive that I stuck one of those little suckers inside out in my eye the other day. It is an alarmingly simple feat to accomplish. You have to make absolutely certain that you place the plastic correctly in its container, or take the time to discern whether or not it is “shaped right” the next time you put it in.

    Would you like to know something else? I’m sure you have all felt the wonder of dry eyes. That used to be a near-constant feeling with contacts unless you had eye drops. Now science has advanced us out of the Stone Age; contacts that stay moist. Oh, the joy! I will no longer pray for natural tears if I am silly enough to leave that tiny bottle in some unknown crevice Let me tell you, it is a little embarrassing to be rubbing your eyes constantly and trying to find ways to force yourself leak those blessed tears just to ease the sufferings of a dry eye.

    Something else that’ll freak the heck out of you is when you are driving at night and every time you look at a sign, it becomes an interesting blur and has a twin just slightly off center. What I am saying is that I was seeing double. Holy flippin’ cow. Oh, and anything else I viewed was perfectly clear. I don’t think I have ever been so worried about my driving ability, and I have never been fond of the practice of driving. Albeit it was two in the morning and I was coming home from a party that I had been ready to leave at ten; I feel justified in blaming the contacts. Good music was playing, and I felt fully awake. It was the contacts, I tell you!

    I have willingly chosen to subject myself to the horror of yet another eye appointment due to the fact that one of my lenses botches up my reading ability. If I close my left eye - I can see a decent picture of the world around me. If I instead close my right eye – everything becomes hazy. Open them at the same time? Vision is good, but attempting to read gives me a headache. Yippy-Skippy.

    Yes. I am fully aware that I am complaining like a yammering ninny. However, this is something I’ve had on my mind for quite some time, and it appears that it annoys other people less when I put my ramblings in writing. What can I say? I aim to please.