• tab I search for the paint, the strokes of paintbrushes not physical, photographs, words with the right flow, pencils on paper, colour sprayed on walls, the right formation of colours, the right words, correct alignment. I look for art. A piece capturing just right, a piece capturing a piece. Something that will take my breath away, that will make me cry with some feeling burst beyond capacity, that will hurt me in just the right way, that I will never forget. To find connection, to know exactly, exactly, how the artist was feeling, what that feeling is.
    tab But I've come to realize that to find something that will feel just right, to capture how I feel in the way I want it to correctly, to find a piece capturing a piece of me, I will have to create it myself. I will have to create the piece that brings me back to the very moment when that masked emotion burst over and overwhelmed me, when it took off it's mask and became known. To bring tears to my eyes when I review as I had cried while creating.
    tab Sometimes I think that searching the entire world for a masterpiece that touches and connects me in such a way would be much easier than creating one myself.