I'm sick of this idiot constantly going back and forth with me about him not being an a** and that he's a d**k and if he's an a** then that makes me a p***y! I'm a litte off but I don't appreciate being called a ******** p***y! I'm mean good god damn! what man would really want to be called a p***y! that's like, that's like, worse than being called a b***h. gonk Ahhh that pissed me off along with the fact that my g/f has a huge secret crush on him. That's sick! that's his little sister! if he wasn't such an a** she'd probably try to run after him... I should really try tennis. It's a nice day and like I said before. everyone is joining it. yes I know I don't want to be a follower but I don't want to seem lazy. I mean at least rayne gets a good work out from it and that's exactly what I want. hmm, ya know miss barenoff's thing about ares seem just as correct as miss jacksons thing about pieces. (english teachers.... baronoff is the student teacher but this was during my chicago literature class.) she said that ares don't like to come out of their closets a lot and if they do they just make another one. she said something about feeling vulnerable to others when they do come out and that they feel that people can easily take advantage of them or something like that. their afraid to get hurt and they're not used to change. I guess she's right when I think about it. I not really used to change and things seem to be changing as the days go by.
Great now I don't know what to do. tomorrow is thursday and I have yet to finish my FAFSA, IVHS, or columbia application. I made an attempt to do the essay and then got stuck again because they wanted you to do that deep thinking crap.... I guess I think more about later on. My FAFSA is very important, if I don't get that done I can forget about any chance of affording to go to college. I need to Catch up in my IVHS (Illinios virtual high school) class or else I'm gonna get an F on my report card and my father is gonna be entirly too pissed. ( I can't take much more from him. God I hate it when he's angry at me.) Man this sucks. I really need more iniitiative, I need to become more determined andf stop being so damn lazy. the world is not going to wait for me to act. I need to start making moves now. 'sigh' but it's so hard along with a side of no money for food and coffee. "sniff sniff" I really wish I had a job right about now. I left a message at walgreens to let that hiring guy know that I called to see about my application status but I'm not to sure if he's gonna get it or care about it. I could really use a job. I have never had a real job before and I really want one. for a city with so many places you can go it's sure hard as hell to get hire at one decent job... Hey maybe I should apply at a movie theater. I remeber that place down town a year back saying you haveing to be 18 in order to apply. ah I guess theres one upside to being 18. I should really give it a go. maybe today as a matter of fact. I'll think about it when I leave. oh and man yesturday made me happy when I went to the guild and saw that so many people liked my drawings. I always down myself because I never practice as much as I wanted to like back fresh and soph year. I've been getting so horrible with my drawings and to here those guys say those things really put a smile on my face along with seeing tsion's post the other day. I've been doing a lot better lately and it seems like the only thing that's been really bothering me the most is this new change that I must go through once I leave high school and all this other adult stuff that I have to start thinking about now. you guys really don't know how happy I am to have a best friend like Rayne. he's really helpful and always gets to the point with things. he's been helping me out lately although he probably doesn't know it. Watching him keeps me inspired to move on and also helps me to have confidence in myself and my own abilities. I know that I won't let us down once we get out of high school and I refuse to be a burden.......... Okay I just saw like 17 of the hottest pictures of megan and 2 of her boyfriend and I'm a little speech less... well I guess that brings me to the end of this entry... um yeah... til next time.
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'sigh' You all amaze me at the fact that you all actually read this stuff.
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