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Will she ever be the same?
I can't believe this! Rayne scared the living daylights out of me! They turned her into a ******** psycho. She's been taking these ******** happy drugs and now she can't even think correctly! I mean what the ********! I seriously regret that last post that I made. I seriously do. And she's not touching me! She's right. I can't see her. She'd kill me. I believe she would. She's no longer sane. They made her loose her sanity. I can't believe this! And now tomorrow, well today, Rayne is on a mission to convince her auntie (not the Asian but the one that stays above her grandmother) to let her out of there. She's slowly loosing her mind as the days go by and they don't understand how much this is killing her. I know for a fact that I must back Rayne up for the sake of her but after that I think I'm gonna have to avoid her. Because of those damn drugs and the fact that she believes that I'm the reason for why she's in there, there's no doubt in my mind that when she see me she's gonna loose it. She said it herself. She said that she's warning me that when she sees me she is not going to have control over what happens next. So yeah I'm a bit terrified. I don't know how to feel about this. I mean my g/f wants to seriously hurt me and now I gotta figure out what she meant about "I will not fall 4 that again/ I wont cry any more" 'sigh' I'm seriously gonna need some serious inner strength for this new obstacle. This is like my ultimate freak'n test before leaving high school. Freak'n being able to keep my sanity and help some one close to me that I care about with out getting hurt at the same time both mentally and physically, (I can just see myself sitting in first period next to her and she just pulling out a damn knife from out of no where and stabbing in the neck without regretting a thing.) That girl have no regrets. She doesn't care and now they're trying to force her to. I'll try my best to convince them and I'll give it my all but that's all I can do. I'm not gonna give up until I know she's gonna be taken from out of that palce. I just can't believe that this is my reality and that this is what I must accept. There's no ignoring it. There's no turning back. Only moving forward and hoping for the best. This is my life, so I guess I have no choice in the matter. Like I said in my last entry, people make their own decisions and what they do is their own faults. I just need to accept things for what they are. I won't fail and I won't turn my head. She needs us now more than ever. If I can't even do this then I never deserved to be her boyfriend in the first place.
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