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Starting off.
I can’t take this anymore. I’m growing sick of my life as the days go by. I wish I had… never mind I’ll get to that later. I’ve finally decided to use the gaia journal but that’s only because that’s the only way I can see myself writing this out and keeping track of it. Keeping it somewhere that I know I can gain access to for the most part, besides I can’t take holding this mess in my head for much longer. I feel like I’m gonna explode at any moment. My head is hurting to the extreme, well maybe not but it’s still heavy. I just can’t take anymore of this. Me not having a life and everyone around me knowing so, I feel like an outcast that should just die. It’s not like no one will care and people tend to forget after a period of time anyways so what does it matter. My only true reason for not committing suicide is my mother. She’s in so much pain and it hurts me to see the person that I love the most in this world go through the stress that she goes through. I want to live to help her, to show her that I can be successful (since my twin brothers never went to college), and to make her enjoy a semi stress free life. Okay so some of that isn’t possible but I like it when people that are close to me are happy except for when it’s for a bad cause. It’s so sad how many people in this world don’t care about a single thing and the decisions that people make tend to bother me as well. Everyone is responsible for their own actions whether they like it or not. Mistakes can not be blamed on others if you’re the cause of it.
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