CHAPTER 20 - A MENTAL INTAKE
You think you really know someone. Their true nature, however, is shrouded in clouds, suppressed for everybody's benefit and safety. You never want them to reveal that side of them...you don't want to lose them.
My heart was skipping beats, blood overflowed the cave and soaked into the tips of my hair. The carcass of the wolf boy was sprawled over the cave floor. My arm was battered and broken and numb from pain. My ribs wanted to snap even more with every breath I took. And Kai, the boy I had fallen so in love with, soaked in blood from head to toe and his eyes never left me...his starving demonic eyes.
"Arisa," he panted again.
The way he said my name sent shivers all over my body once more. I had never ever been so terrified of him in my life. Not even when he attacked me the first time. He inched his way towards me slowly and extended his hand. I flinched and wanted to scream, but all that came out was a small squeak. Kai froze and lowered his hand and looked down. Blood from the Werewolf dripped from his chin and his fingertips. His own blood was mixed in as well from wounds from before he arrived. I knew he wanted to help me, to take me back home, but I was much too petrified by his ominous appearance. This was his true self...his murderous side he's been trying to hide from me.
"I'm...I'm sorry," he lowered his shoulders and stared at me with a pained face.
I started to breathe deeper, but stopped myself at the pain that continued to flow. Kai looked behind him at the mess he made. He wiped some blood off of his mouth with his sleeve, but it didn't help at all. Several silent moments passed where Kai never took his eyes off of me. Every time I looked into his eyes, they always seemed hungrier. Kai took one more step towards me and froze. I looked behind him and Matsuda and Akatsuki appeared at the opening of the cave. They tried to catch their breath.
"Arisa!" they called out in unison.
They rushed past Kai and attended me at my side. Matsuda's hands hovered over me, anxious to move me. Just seeing him and Akatsuki again made tears pour out once again. I was so relieved to see they were okay. I paused as I realized two absences. My heart skipped a beat again.
"Where's Kira? Where's Takeuchi?" I whispered.
Matsuda smiled reassuringly, "They're fine. Takeuchi should be healed within a day."
"What? What happened to him?"
Matsuda's warm smile dissipated, "The other two Werewolves snapped his spine. He's paralyzed right now but he will be up and walking again by tomorrow."
I cried a little more at the fact that his spine was snapped and also relieved that he would be okay. I couldn't help but feel incredible guilt for allowing any of this to happen.
"Kira carried Takeuchi home. They're both fine, Arisa." Matsuda touched my shoulder.
I nodded and peeked over in Kai's direction. He was still staring at me with the same pained look. I wanted him to stop. I was afraid still. Matsuda leaned over to Akatsuki's ear and whispered something and Akatsuki stood up quickly and made his way to Kai. Akatsuki whispered something to Kai and grabbed his bicep lightly. Kai tugged his arm loose and whispered something back to Akatsuki.
"I'm not going to leave her," Kai declared.
"Your eyes say you're going to attack her at any moment. You need to leave."
"I'll be fine," he scoffed.
"Kai, it would be better if you left," Matsuda said, not taking his eyes off of my bloody wrist and broken arm.
Kai went silent and looked down again. Matsuda barely reposed his hands on my ribs.
"Okay, Arisa, this is the first time I'm going to be using this on you. Angels like me can heal broken bones, but not completely. It might hurt a little, okay?"
I sighed out of relief that my ribs and possibly my arm would be fixed. Matsuda took a couple of deep breaths and I could feel cold and then warmth against my ribs. I held my breath and tried to prepare myself. In a split second, I felt my ribs snap back into place. I flinched horribly and nearly screamed and I bit my lip to keep myself from doing so. I didn't know why I was still acting so brave. I knew better than that.
"I'm sorry, Arisa. Are you okay?"
I closed my eyes and nodded. I didn't want to respond verbally, afraid I would cry or screech and damage everybody's hearing. Akatsuki lowered himself onto his knees next to me. He brushed my bangs around.
"You're going to be okay, Arisa," he soothed.
I opened my eyes and nodded again. Matsuda touched my broken arm, "This one's bad,"
I held my breath again and just like before, one of my bones snapped back into place without much warning. I let out a loud scream unintentionally, and that was only one bone. The pain was pungent and my arm wouldn't stop throbbing. Matsuda reassured me, telling me there was only one more bone and then we'd be done. The next snapping of the bone hurt even more and I screamed even louder and thrashed myself around. I realized I would never had been able to scream this loud if my ribs were still broken.
"It's okay, Arisa. It's over." Matsuda brushed my bangs.
I winced over and over in pain and cried a little more. Matsuda leaned over to Akatsuki.
"I'm going to need you to carry Arisa home," Matsuda persuaded.
Kai inched his way over, "Let me take her,"
Akatsuki stood up right away and guarded me. Kai backed up without hesitation and looked down once again.
"Just get me home," I moaned.
Akatsuki scooped me up swiftly and carried me out of the cave slowly. My eyes never left Kai, but I was soon distracted by the carcass of the wolf boy and the oceans of blood on the floor. I threw up in my mouth a little and held it back. We exited the cave, leaving Matsuda and Kai behind, and into the snow-showered forest again. After several meters, I grabbed Akatsuki's jacket.
"Akatsuki, put me down," I whispered.
"I can't. I can't put you in more danger."
"Put me down, I'm going to get sick!" I gripped his jacket harder.
Akatsuki lowered me by a bush and I allowed my nausea from the blood and gore catch up with me. I coughed and waited for myself to finish and I felt faint and woozy. I stood up and made my way towards Akatsuki again, but was stopped short by collapsing from my exhaustion, pain, and nausea. Akatsuki broke my fall and picked me up in his arms again and made our way back home.
I jerked myself awake after continuous images of Kai's murder dictated my mind. I sighed after realizing I was back in the bedroom and under the covers of Kai's commodious bed. I tried to stretch, but only my left arm was capable of doing so because my right arm was in a cast and a sling. I didn't even remember them fixing me up when Akatsuki and I got back. I gazed around the dark room and in a corner, hidden in the shadows, was Kai's figure, watching me.
"Kai?" it sounded more like an accusation than a question.
For another moment, he was still, then he finally moved forward a few inches, revealing himself in the moonlight, "Should I leave?"
I shook my head quickly, "No, don't," I sighed, "Come here."
Kai hesitated for a moment, but eventually made his way to the bed. He sat himself down next to me and I grabbed his hand right away. He avoided eye contact and I played with his fingers. We sat in silence for what felt like forever. Kai was the first to speak up.
"You've been asleep for two days," said Kai. There was another pause, "I watched over you the whole time."
My heart skipped a beat out of either excitement or fear. I shivered at the cold and turned red once I looked down and realized I had no shirt on, leaving my bra exposed. I propped my pillows on the backboard and leaned my back against it. I grabbed his hand again.
"Why won't you look at me?" I asked him while peeking through my eyelashes.
He paused a moment, "We don't deserve to see each other,"
I scoffed, "Don't start that crap again, Kai,"
"I've exposed the side of me I had kept suppressed for years. I hadn't been so murderous and monsterous in such a long time."
"I'm sure any Vampire would have had the same reaction,"
He shook his head, "Only for the thrill, not for someone they love,"
"So that makes it right for you to react how you did. You did it out of protection, not pleasure." I tried to ease him, but I knew it'd take a while.
"I swore to myself you would never witness that side of me. I broke my promise, I'm sorry."
"Kai, shut up," I was getting angry.
"I freaked you out, Arisa. I maimed a Werewolf right in front of your very being."
"Kai, shut up," I demanded.
He sighed, not wanting to argue anymore, "I'm sorry,"
I sighed as well and slowly leaned against him and kissed his neck, "I'm not afraid of you,"
After a moment, he slipped his hand out of mine and coiled his arm around my waist. His cold touch sent shivers up and down my spine. He slid his other hand onto my forehead, "You've got a fever,"
"That's not a surprise, you know,"
His fingertips trailed down and traced over my collarbone again and again. I turned pink a little and looked away. He continued to brush his fingertips along my collarbone and my neck. He leaned over and kissed my collarbone several times and I leaned against the backboard once again and was too anxious to do anything. He sighed, his cool breath sending a wave of goosebumps all over.
"You're much too fragile," he stared at me, "Your bones are trying to rip out of your skin. Being a vegetarian doesn't help you in the slightest bit."
"C-can you get my pills?" I asked with a red face.
He shook his head, "Nope. I'm going to make you eat real meat."
"Kai, meat makes me sick,"
"What doesn't these days?" and for once in a long time, a smile cracked across his face.
"You don't make me sick," I responded with a small smile.
He breathed out a small laugh and kissed the angle of my jaw and then my ear. He breathed his cool breath in my ear, "You are one lucky girl,"
"Why do you say that? Karma is my middle name." I chuckled.
"From all the times you've been bitten by either Vampires or Werewolves, you've never been infected,"
I absorbed that for a moment and realized he was right, "How often does somebody get infected?"
"Being infected by a Vampire happens about 85% of the time and by a Werewolf it's about 65%,"
Wow, I really was lucky in some ways. Kai shifted so that he could press his lips against mine and we continued for a few minutes. I had a major question that buzzed through my head, hoping at first that Kai wouldn't hear it, but I couldn't bring myself to hold it back anymore.
I broke up our kiss for a moment, "Would you be happier if I became a Vampire with you?" I whispered.
I opened my eyes after several moments of silence and Kai was looking down in a daze. I knew I had asked the wrong thing and I started beating myself internally for asking him. I felt his hand on my back flinch a little and his face grew angry.
"You will never," he hissed, "go through something like that."
I wanted to ask why, but he beat me to the punch, "I'd never put you through pain like that,"
"It would all be worth it, wouldn't it? We'd be together for hundreds of more years and I'd be over my sicknesses. I wouldn't be so fragile." I persuaded.
"No, I'm not doing that to you," his voice was cold.
"I'd get over the pain. Kai, I want to stay with you as long as I can without growing old. I don't want to grow old, I don't want to die right now."
He shook his head, "It's not going to happen, end of discussion,"
I sighed and kissed him again. Very subtly, I went over both of his cuspidated fangs with the very tip of my tongue and he pulled away and glared at me.
"Knock it off,"
I didn't know what was coming over me. I didn't know why I had this sudden urge to want him to infect me.
"Was there something that's happened to you that made you say no?" I didn't know if he would tell me or not or if anything even happened at all.
He said nothing, but his expression changed to apathy. I grabbed his hand again, "Matsuda told me...that you've lost somebody before. Was it because of...her?"
"You really need to get more rest," he dodged my question.
"I've been asleep for two days,"
"I don't care. Get back to sleep."
I squeezed his hand, "I want to know more about you, Kai. Just this one thing, please."
He sighed in defeat after a moment of silence and crawled onto the bed on my right side. He leaned against the backboard and wrapped his arms around me and lay my head on his lap. He brushed my bangs around and I looked up at him. He sighed again.
"Yes...there was somebody else before," he whispered.
"Tell me about her,"
He leaned back and closed his eyes, "Nearly a hundred and ten years ago, I was still having troubles controlling my craving for human blood since I had been a Vampire for a little over fourty years,"
I kept staring at him, encouraging him to continue.
"Her name was Ayame. She was alone one night in the middle of the night and I continued to stalk her in the shadows. When she finally brought herself to an empty area in the woods on her way home, I attacked her. I just about sucked her dry and I accidentally ended up infecting her. I left her, bloodless and burning from the venom. It wasn't until nearly thirty years later that she attacked me. She even tried to kill me for turning her into a monster. She gave up after a while, but would never leave me alone."
He closed his eyes, smiled, shook his head and chuckled. He continued to stroke my bangs unconsciously.
"After a few more years, we became attatched to each other. And after another year, we...fell in love I guess. We still lived in this house with the same losers." he chuckled again, "But there seemed to be a different side to Ayame," his mood was serious again.
"We were together for nearly 45 years until she started behaving oddly. She would always leave to go someplace early and always came back late. A couple of months after her odd behavior started, she was...," he covered his face with his hand.
"She was...what?" I pushed.
"I can't tell you any more," he sighed.
He sighed again but never looked down at me, "Pregnant,"
My heart skipped a beat at what he said, "What happened to her?"
"She told me it was mine, but a few more months later, she told me she was leaving me. She was cheating on me. She said that child she was carrying was the other guy's." he hissed, "I knew it wasn't mine anyways. I knew deep down." he locked his jaw and lowered his hand and opened his eyes that changed to gunmetal.
"So she left, just like that. The guy was a human so she was carrying a half breed." he hissed again, "I freaked out and left for about two years, furious. I didn't feel as angry as I did humiliated. I was angry at myself for falling for all of her schemes. She had actually been with a multifarious amount of men multiple times."
He paused for a long time and I assumed he was done. I was about to sit up and face him at his level, but he wasn't done speaking.
"Two months later, just a few weeks before she was supposed to give birth, she died," he said with a straight face, "I was told she shot herself in the head multiple times, but no reason of why she did so. I honestly didn't care at all. She only deserved it after tricking everybody for so many years. She threw everything away, and in some ways I blame myself."
I sat up and stared at him, "Why do you blame yourself?"
He sighed again and cupped his hands around my face and leaned in close, "Just like you, she had so many opportunities. She could have lived a normal life, but instead, I changed her into what I am and she took her life away so easily. I'm not going to let any of that happen to you."
I could feel my espression change to sorrow and sympathy. Kai kissed my forehead with his snow-cold lips.
"I'd have more opportunities if I could live longer," Kai stared at me with a hard face again and pursed his lips, but I only ignored him, "How can you be so sure I'm even anything like her? Or do you not want to be with me for hundres of years to go?"
Kai's face turned to pain and he gasped and searched my eyes, wondering if I were telling the truth. I wasn't going to tear up, but I was just curious, "Don't think that, Arisa, of course I want to be with you as long as you can. If I could, I'd become human again."
"But why would you want to be human? We're weak, we're pathetic, we're lazy, everything except for amazing."
"I don't want to argue with you anymore. I'm not turning you into a murderous monster."
He cut me short by compressing his lips against mine for several seconds and holding me against his steel torso afterwords. I fondled with my fingers and looked down at the bed as he stroked his fingertips against the spine of my back. I turned red after remembering I had no shirt on, but the embarrassment was soon washed away by depression. Excluding the pain in my arm and my ribs, a new pain was formed deep in my heart.
- Title: BLooDY SILHOUEttE Chap. 20
- Artist: Mon Amour Antoinette
Chapter 20 is finally up! Might be going a little slower now with finals this week and some family emergencies, but hey, i'll try my hardest! Enjoy!
IMPORTANT: next one to be published is a side story, not chapter 21.
- Date: 12/15/2008
- Tags: bloody silhouette